“This is probably the last few chapters of her life. And I made it worse. I lied to her and I betrayed her and I don’t know if I can forgive myself.”   This is what a caregiver shared with me in therapy. She lamented over whether or not she made the right decision. Wondering, […]

The plan was already made. The family had toured the memory care facility twice, signed the paperwork, and arranged for movers to collect her things the following week. But when they pulled into the parking lot, her daughter told her she would just be staying for a few days while her back healed up.   […]

  “I feel like I’m doing time for a crime I never committed.”   That’s what one of my older patients said to me in our very first session after he was moved unexpectedly from his home into assisted living. He wasn’t exaggerating. He wasn’t being dramatic. He was telling me exactly how he felt. […]

What kind of world are we living in where a person who needs assisted living—someone with dementia, functional disabilities, or frailty—can be detained by ICE?   A recent email from Lori Smetanka, Executive Director of the National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-Term Care, revealed that a resident from a small assisted living facility was taken […]

For many people living with Parkinson’s Disease, sexual functioning can change, but intimacy doesn’t have to. I was working with a 70-something husband and wife a few months ago. The wife was living Parkinson’s Disease and had extreme tremors in her arms and hands. Her tremors were very uncomfortable and extremely distressing to her. But […]

Assisted living and long-term care communities have a duty to ensure that residents’ rights of sexual autonomy and self-determination are honored and equally have a duty to protect residents from harm.   A sexual health policy helps to ensure that both standards are being met.     What is a sexual health policy? A sexual […]

Love, intimacy, and sexuality are important aspects for people living with dementia and their intimate partners.   A growing body of research tells us that the majority of older nursing home residents, including those with dementia disorders, continue to value intimacy1,2.   It’s time we shift the narrative about dementia and sexuality toward a more […]

The stories of deaf older adults and their families need to be shared and heard. For the past couple of years, I have been following and sharing the story of MJ Grant and her experience with caring for her mom, Carmen, who is deaf and living with dementia. A couple of months ago, MJ made […]

Helping aging parents move into a senior living or assisted living environment can be overwhelming, and emotions can easily escalate. Here are 12 tips for managing those emotions during difficult conversations with elderly parents. 1. Expect that this will be emotional. Expect that this is going to be emotional. Know that it is reasonable that […]

Have you helped your loved one move to a senior living or assisted living community only to find that in the midst of experiencing relief that your loved one is being cared for and is safe, you also have intense feelings of guilt and shame? You’re not alone. Many caregivers struggle with guilt and shame […]

There may come a time when you’re faced with the conversation of talking with your aging parents about moving into a senior living or assisted living community. Many people dread this conversation. Even simply starting the conversation can bring up all sorts of worry and feelings of guilt and shame. To help, I’ve created 6 […]

When he was in his late 80s, William Cohn, Candy Cohn’s father, unintentionally stopped taking medication for a long-standing bipolar disorder and experienced a significant mental health crisis requiring hospitalization and intensive treatment. It was following this episode that Candy knew that she needed to help her older parents find a senior living community that […]